After a really tedious Monday, Tuesday wasn't so bad. I got a few pleas done, and there were even a few light moments. One of my favorite client's cases was reached yesterday. The guy weighs maybe 350 pounds, has an afro fashioned like a mad scientist's and a big broad smile accented with grillz. Mr. Johnson (not his real name) has been my client for two years. He had a drug charge- possession of Ecstasy- which was winnable at little risk, and another more problematic charge that had a huge downside. Ultimately, he was offered a plea with a recommendation of probation from the State, which he took. We were before our resident Circuit Court Judge. The prosecutor had explained the charges to the Judge, and I'd offered information in mitigation, when the Judge asked me why my client had Ecstasy. As I struggled between the equally bad impulses to say "I'm not sure the drugs were his, Judge. He's just pleading to this one to get a good deal on the other charge" and "Probably to get high, Your Honor", the Court stopped me and said to my client, "It looks like your attorney is having a difficult time answering my question, Mr. Johnson". To which Mr. Johnson replied loudly with that goofy smile and perfect timing, "I can SEE that, Your Honor. Tighten up, Mathews". The courtroom roared with laughter, including, fortunately, the Judge.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
News from the World.
After a really tedious Monday, Tuesday wasn't so bad. I got a few pleas done, and there were even a few light moments. One of my favorite client's cases was reached yesterday. The guy weighs maybe 350 pounds, has an afro fashioned like a mad scientist's and a big broad smile accented with grillz. Mr. Johnson (not his real name) has been my client for two years. He had a drug charge- possession of Ecstasy- which was winnable at little risk, and another more problematic charge that had a huge downside. Ultimately, he was offered a plea with a recommendation of probation from the State, which he took. We were before our resident Circuit Court Judge. The prosecutor had explained the charges to the Judge, and I'd offered information in mitigation, when the Judge asked me why my client had Ecstasy. As I struggled between the equally bad impulses to say "I'm not sure the drugs were his, Judge. He's just pleading to this one to get a good deal on the other charge" and "Probably to get high, Your Honor", the Court stopped me and said to my client, "It looks like your attorney is having a difficult time answering my question, Mr. Johnson". To which Mr. Johnson replied loudly with that goofy smile and perfect timing, "I can SEE that, Your Honor. Tighten up, Mathews". The courtroom roared with laughter, including, fortunately, the Judge.
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13 comments:
Or you could have gone with, "It's ecstacy your honor. Why wouldn't he want it? If if was called Misery, then we'd have a question for him!"
Or, maybe not.
Much better than what I had, Ange.
Good advice for all of us. Tighten up.
I just hope you're on "Big Afro Johnson's" good side...or else YOU may be wearing a grill soon!
You got that right, Chase. Maybe we should have listened to Archie Bell.
Don't worry about me and Mr. Johnson, Star; we're tight.
Glad to know somebody's keeping you in line, but hard to believe you were temporarily speechless.
It doesn't occur often, Amy, to be sure.
I think "Tighten up Mathews" might become the new catch phrase of '09.
Gotta love the druggies.
wow...mr. johnson sounds like a great client! Funny and timely.
...If it weren't for that ectasy/drug stuff you probably never would have met...lucky you!
Indeed, John.
RC, without question I meet a lot of folks at the Public Defender's Office that I would never meet anywhere else. It is probably the neatest thing about the job.
You should write all this down. Write a book someday.
This is writing it down, Kate. Besides, I tried to write a book once. It was pretty bad. Maybe I'll try again when the kids are grown and I get more time.
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