Funny things happen to normally sane men when they fall head-long out of their fourth decade of living and into... the decades that follow. In 2000, the fortieth anniversary of the birth of Bill and Lydia's oldest son (er, that would be me), I quit a secure (if somewhat dull) job as County Attorney advising a small county on ordinances and doing a little bit of trial and appellate work, to go into solo private practice, ran for the Statehouse (I lost by about 150 votes out of about 15,000 cast), and got separated after about 14 years of marriage, and later divorced. 2001 I mostly pouted. In 2002, within the span of six or seven months following the 42nd anniversary of my birth, I, in order: ripped the tendon in my right biceps off of the bone while playing flag-football, bought a yellow mustang convertible, ran the Jacksonville marathon with my friend Cathy, and had surgery to re-attach my biceps.
My amazing Ultra-Runner brother, AndyMan met me in Jax. I asked him what he thought of my ride. He looked at me the way you are supposed to look at a 42 year old dude who has just bought a car marketed for 18 year old Marine recruits, and told me it was the ugliest car he'd ever seen. I told him its name was SpongeBob, owing to its color, and the SpongeBob airfreshener I had hanging from my mirror (We finished the marathon, by the way, though they timed me with a calendar). I went back home and got the surgery that I might should've gotten before the marathon. After my surgery, I asked the surgeon if I could play football again. He looked at me like you are supposed to look at a 42 year old dude who asks if he can still play football, and recommended golf. I don't think he liked the SpongeBobMobile either. But they love it at the Waffle House.
25 comments:
Great story. But where's the 21 yr. old hot blonde?
You took the lads to waffle house for dinner? Thought you had enough of those blueberry pea cakes this season.
Could be worse, could've bought a Miata, a car marketed to 20something girls.
Err. That's what I bought. It's okay, I'm secure. enough.
You know, if you'da gone to The Citadel, you'd have won that state house race.
Mags, everyone's got their own way to work through these issues, I guess. Uncle Bob bought a motorcycle.
Amy, yeah, Waffle House. Especially after church. Never had pea-cakes at the awful Waffle.
Chase, I've heard about the long gray line thing. No doubt it woulda helped. Alas, I'd done the higher education thing in TN and FLA already. And the Miata is a pretty cool car, couldn't consider it 'cause it doesn't have a back seat and, well, I do have a hunnerd kids or so. Those marketers don't know everything.
Don't feel bad. My 70 year old mother drives a red Mustang convertible. She likes all the attention she gets from those Marine recruits.
(And SBSP rocks!)
John, sounds like your mom is a cool customer. And SBSP does, indeed, rock.
Hey I love the Sponge Bob mobile. I just didn't think you know going from a Conversion VAN, because of you know having 4 kids, to a Mustang which holds, er 1 passenger, was very practicle! No, I love the car. I didn't love it much as we were driving back from the GEER 100K in Virginia where I was the shortest person (at 6'1") so I had to sit in the back seat, which isn't really a seat, more of a compartment. But if it's you and me or you and a broad, I love the car!
The car is not roomy, especially in the back seat (or, so I'm told), and you guys were troopers for enduring the inauspicious return in the 'Bob after 66.6 miles up and down the mountains; nevertheless, Bubba, if you're six one, I'm six three. The Sewanee football guide listed me at six three, but football coaches are not necessarily known for their candor.
I swear you're 6'2", AMAN. When I wore those 5" heals to school last week, we were eye level.
Andy,
Watch your language man.
We are babes not broads.
Ange- Guess I got to be quick to catch you. First, I only get the edited potty shot (but, really, I'm not complaining), now Amy and Mags know your response, but gots to guess. Ah, well, I'll assume it was something like, "eat my shorts, D-Man!".
Amy, I caught that too. Thank you for putting AMan in his place.
I know we would never hear that out of Superdave ! :)
Jeez, I miss everything.
Well if that's the case, stay out of my bathroom. Just sayin' ... we aim to please.
I totally dig the mustang, yellow or not. Someday I will have a 1967 Shelby GT 350. Does that mean I'LL pick up 20 year old blondes too???
Bathroom "posting": We aim to please, you aim, too, please. or We aim to please, your aim will help.
Star, if that's what you're looking for, then, yeah, a Mustang would help. If it's a Shelby? Ooooh! I've got goosebumps!
That was me deleting a post, didn't read who had posted it .. here's the corrected...
Ba dum, ding!
Star, that '67 shelby now, will help you pick up 47 year old public defenders from South Carolina ...
Yeah, well, Chase, I don't really think she's in the market. I've checked Star's blog. Appears she's already set with some Swiss dude, right, Star?.
Yeah, I've run with Star, she doesn't need a Mustang, she could be in a Rolls Canardly and still pick up 20-year old dudes, if she wanted.
Whoa Dave, the comment to which they refered was my insensitive use of the term "Broads." For that I apologize (ish, I was just joshin') And, darn, You mean I'm not 6'1" Shoot! I thought there were 10 inches in a foot. I mean I wear a size ten on my foot!
Ange, I doubt I know anyone that has more respect for women than you do, so you get no beef from me for your attempt at "broad comedy". Now, on the measurement thing, I'm thinking of going metric. That way, I only weigh, like, 14 stone.
Hey if I can't be a fast runner, then I'll have a fast car, dig me? Broads compensate too I suppose. And I have no idea what Andy is talking about. Apparently he didn't see me after the nasty muddy rainy run on Saturday....uhhh, unless he's into that kind of thing ;) Where's my sister when I need her??
Yeah, the Swiss aren't great at making cars, but they are very good at making.......chocolate. What did you think I was going to say???
Swatches.
Oh, I get what Andy was talking about now. Well, he's definitely faster now than I am, and he can most definitely run farther, but I'm still taller.
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