Ode to the Demise of a Holiday Season.

The Holiday Season again has passed; gone for another year. Pumpkins, turkeys, and Christmas Cheer were never meant to last,

but celebrations are always near, and others'll take their place... So put away your Halloweeny face,

...and get out your King Day gear!

Merry Christmas!

Lots of great Christmas music out there. We've generally got Pandora set to The Christmas Wrapping (Waitresses) Station or to Christmas Jazz, but lately I've been enjoying the Roches. Thanks, AndyMan, for introducing them to me. Merry Christmas, to all.

Walkin' the Floor Over Goo.

As I continue to clamor for floor relief, I keep my eyes peeled for any labor-saving household help, mechanized and otherwise. Over next to the Snuggies in a local market, I caught a glimpse of the "Slipper Genie" pictured at left. Who needs a vacuum cleaner when you can put on these special socks and walk away the dirt? 'Course, if that's plan "A", that's probably gonna be a pretty dirty floor, no? Hope they're disposable.

A Christmas Present that Really Sucks!

I've been fairly good this year. Lady Di has been very good. Is it asking Santa too much for a present that sucks? Maybe Santa needs more information. After all, he can't make his decisions in a vacuum. Alright, Kringle, here are the facts: our current cleaner is old. Real old. It's from Hoover. No, not the company; the president. It's coal powered. Like I said, it's not a new vacuum cleaner. It doesn't work so well anymore. I use it an appallingly slight percentage of the time that it is employed, but in those rare instances where I'm the operator of the sucker, it feels like I'm pushing around a stick.

Curling sweepers pick up more dirt. Quidditch brooms pick up more dirt. Not effective. Anyway, Santa, if you're not too busy...

New Year's Daze.

New Year's weekend was a stone groove. Lady Di and I kennelled the dogs and left the Boro for Central Florida. We had a New Year's Eve luncheon with AndyMan and niece Allison at Uncle Bob and Aunt Maggie's home in Orlando. The Blackfords are always good company, and Aunt Maggie made sure, as she always does, that we had lots of good food to eat. After lunch, Diane and I donned our Florida State University Seminoles gear and watched the Chick-fil-A Bowl at an area sports bar. South Carolina fought gamely, but the 'Noles prevailed. I'm generally a Gamecock fan, and I've boasted of the 'Cock's baseball championship; however, I'm an FSU alum, so I'll happily collect the four or five one dollar bets I'd wagered on the 'Noles. Saturday, we dragged our carcasses out of bed and headed for the Citrus Bowl to watch the University of Alabama Crimson Tide (whose mascot is, inexplicably, an elephant), battle the Michigan State University Spartans.

There's Lady Di outside of the Citrus Bowl. The weather was perfect. 78 Degrees and sunny. The atmosphere crackled with the hopes of fans of both teams. We consumed normally forbidden food like hot dogs, chips, french fries, and big bottles of coke, and, er, ... dang, where's the bathroom?


Apparently, we weren't the only fans who'd over-imbibed.

Even mascots gotta wait their turn!


The Crimson Tide inundated the Citrus Bowl. The joint was crawling with 'Bama fans.


And their allegiance runs deep, too. This gal's wearing a shirt in tribute to legendary 'Bama coach Paul "Bear" Bryant. The Bear's been dead longer than this fan has been alive, but she knows all about him. How does 'Bama get fans so loyal?


They start 'em young.

Like I said...

Spartan fans were probably outnumbered four to one. The lot that showed was spirited, though.


Now, that's a hat, right there.


These lads had spirit (must not care for math, though: I tried to get them to spell "S-U-M", and they said it didn't add up).


The end-zone is a pretty cool place to watch a game. Hard to tell how many yards either team got from play to play, but you don't get a view like this one on the fifty yard-line.


...or this. If you want to get a decent idea of how the third best team in the SEC destroyed the co-champions of the Big Ten, then just look at the blocking on this play. The Tide played bigger, stronger, and faster than the Spartans.

MSU's football team took a pounding, but the band rocked the house at half-time.

The game got ugly. At 42 to zip late in the second half, we joined the throng of Spartan fans in a funereal procession back to our cars. Still, it was a lot of fun (and the Spartan fans took some solace in knowing their team was, at least, the best team in their state, which, as any Auburn fan will tell you, was not true for the Tide. War Eagle!).

Happy New Year!

Lady Di's been feeding me a little too well this Holiday Season. Cherry pie with a crisp buttery crust. Yum! Oh, yeah, and my daughter, Caroline, made us some lovely chocolate macaroon cookies (Diane got a couple of 'em, but you gotta know I did most of the damage). Now, what to do about the four or five pounds I've packed on...

Anyway, I hope everyone's New Year is fun and safe.

Merry Christmas!

Leaf Me Alone.

On the first day of Christmas, I'm pretty sure the pear tree in which the partridge perched wasn't a Callery Pear Tree. Sure, Callery Pears are pretty. But if the pear tree that that present presenting personage was a Callery, said dude better've gotten his lady a decent yard-guy to go with it, because those trees are messy. Big time.


I think I moved ten or twelve wagon loads of those stupid leaves. Times like these, I remember the words of an interesting old bloke who owns a jewelry store downtown: "I got no use for anything deciduous". Amen, brother. Amen.

Santa, You Sleigh Me, Too.

Among some old Christmas decorations that I consigned to the wastebin was this brutal relic. Apparently, some intrepid "Twilight" extra wanted to make sure the undead got their share of toys, and put the bite on the fat man. If a wooden stake is what you need to kill a vampire, then I guess the only way to kill a vampiric Kris Kringle would be with a Kringle kris, like the one at left. Well, that's what it looks like, anyway.

Santa, You Sleigh Me.

Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, David Banner and I all have alter-egos. The first three assume the identities of Batman, Spiderman and the Incredible Hulk, in order to fight crime and their inner demons. Most years, I assume the persona of the Big Guy, Saint Nick, to entertain at my niece's dance recital (if you want to check out 2007 and 2008, then double-click those years).

The Green Room was abysmal. I've got to get a better agent for these gigs.

The spread also left something to be desired (actually, I'm pretty sure that these goodies were for some event earlier in the day... or week. Didn't taste too bad, though).

Showtime!

Oh, and there was dancing, too. In fact, Niece Allison (second from the right, I think), was in nine different numbers.

Allie's sister was cute as a button.

New Traditions: Taylor

Consider the Christmas Octopus: A blue one's sure to cause a fuss. Octopi are rarely blue, they're scarcely seen by any sailor. Still, azure is my youngest's hue; so this ornament is meant for Taylor.

New Traditions: Tyler.

Tyler's my twin who likes red; "It's better'n blue", so he said. "My ornament's briny, but it's not so tiny. That it won't pinch off your head!"

New Christmas Traditions: Caroline's Ornament.

I've said it plenty: I've got lots of boys, but only one little girl. Caroline is twenty now, but she'll always be my only little girl.

New Christmas Traditions. Part I

Lady Di and I put up a few Christmas lights, set out some old decorations, and bought a little tree last weekend. In going through her old ornaments, I found a few that were funny, in a kind of dark way. My friend, Gale, noted that my "ornery-ments" post was a little cynical. "Get in the Christmas spirit. I hear you bought some new ornaments. Post them". Fair enough.

Diane brought me to Pier One Imports to look at candles last weekend. This is not something I did during my bachelor incarnation. I don't mean I seldom visited Pier One when I was single; I mean that I NEVER during that stretch visited Pier One (or Bed, Bath and Beyond. Or Hallmark. Or any other place where more than ten percent of the inventory is scented candles). Hardee's stock, on the otherhand, has taken a beating since I wed. But I digress... Whilst at POI, we acquired new ornaments to mark our new adventure. This first one reminded me of my oldest son. Kind of goofy, but special. Here's to you, Davis.

Holiday Ornery-ments.

We've survived Thanksgiving, and we're crashing head-long into Christmas. Time to decorate the tree and remind ourselves of the joy and goodwill that the Season promises. Here we go...

Santa and toys got to be a joyful thing, right? Wait... Since when does Santa carry a soldier (toy or not) that's bigger than he is? Times have changed, I guess. If you're gonna be busting in to people's houses, you probably ought to be packing heat.

What's wrong with this one? Well, in a nutshell, I'd say that Baby Huey here is totally lacking in Holiday Spirit. Shoot, he (or she. A blue or pink blanket might've helped here) looks more like Susan Smith's other child than Moses in the bullrushes. 'Course, I've been wrong before. Maybe that's why the Santa Nazi is lurking in the background.


Whoa! Who ticked her off? The idea of an Blonde Alpine skier is not so bad, but she is clearly not in the Christmas spirit.

Well, this one's actually kinda nice. Peaceful looking manger scene. The guys that made this clearly understand the real meaning of Christmas. Wonder who made it?

Oops. China isn't exactly a hotbed of Christianity, with numbers somewhere between 3/4 of a percent and 4 percent of the population, depending on whom you ask. At least they aren't snarling.

Happy New Years!

Let's face it: 2009 kinda sucked. Heck, the whole decade was kinda sorry, for that matter. The good news is that we get a new slate starting tomorrow. We also get a second full moon tonight. The extra moon is called a blue moon. Apparently, it has more to do with a mispronunciation of an old English word than the color of it, but, whatever. Anyway, it only happens every two or three years, so, that's got to bode well, right? Hey, I always liked the Marcels:




'Course, for you traditionalists, it's hard to beat Ella Fitzgerald:



Hope your New Year's Eve is good.

Merry Christmas, Baby.

Merry Christmas to everyone. Diane and I'll be at Midnight Mass in a bit. I hope that you find peace and contentment in your own way, and a little momentum going into the new year. Maybe Bruce can help:

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's about quarter 'til three on Thanksgiving Day, and I'm bushed. My brother, the Amazing AndyMan, came up from Cigar City to spend the Holiday in the Boro. He and I ran for about an hour this morning, then we volunteered at my Church, St. Jude's Episcopal, to prepare and serve free Thanksgiving meals to folks who didn't already have plans. See how eager I am to get started? Andy'd already done this gig in Tampa just yesterday. He saw the multitude ready to help and beat it to the Manor to watch Kill Bill Vol. One for perhaps the fifth time. I carved a couple of hams, then started working the serving line. Yams were my item. Yams are very popular at Thanksgiving, and I only one or two of the seven hundred folks we served didn't want some.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifLinda Kelly was on ham detail. She's and the rest of the line get ready to open business.
I wouldn't've been there if not for my gal, Diane. Among her duties as director of the Area Health Education Commission (or Company. It starts with a "C", anyway) are youth education programs designed to get young folks into the healthcare field. These are motivated kids. She managed to get this good-looking crew to take a few hours from their own Thanksgiving to volunteer at St. Jude's. Don't ever give up on the kids. The kids are alright!

Been Workin' Out, Too.

All right, it's a costume. Anyway, the Halloween season has been fun. Nice "Good Fridays" party a week or so ago. The Lads carved a couple of pumpkins (they know Jack-O-Lanterns). Diane and I handed out candy to about 200 kids at her house. Lots of little Batmen and princesses. Good times.

Happy Easter.

I thought about going with "He is risen, indeed. Hallelujah!" or something like that. Ultimately, I went with chocolate bunnies. I'm gonna get the Lads to church this morning. So far they have not risen. I figure a chocolate bribe might help. 'Course, there might be some negative fall-out once I get them there, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.