I've mentioned ad nauseam that I have, like, 106 kids. Actually, it's four, but believe me, that's plenty. My youngest are thirteen year-old twins. One of the twins- Tyler- had me take him to Beaufort yesterday, because he had a date with a girl he met on-line. The girl's parents insisted it be a group outing, so Taylor went along also, as did another friend or two of the girl. Taylor already had his first date about six months ago. Taylor also was the first to "make out" (though, technically, Tyler got his first kiss when he was in Sunday School at age six). This is a weird age for the Lads. They still let me read The Narnia Chronicles to them. Tyler has not totally gotten rid of the teddy bear he's had since he was an infant. They will still give me a hug and tell me they love me. But most of their friends are at least two years older than they are. Some of their friends use drugs. The boys tell me this. Taylor asked me the difference between "weed" and crack yesterday. Drugs are a dead end, I tell them. I've previously offered a bribe: if they can make to 18 years of age without using alcohol, tobacco or drugs, I'll give them 500 bucks each. I'm pretty sure Taylor is already out of the money. Shoot, I was twelve the first time I got drunk. Should I be surprised? There's no rush for this, I tell them. You guys will have all the friends and girlfriends you'll ever want. I promise. No need to hurry. Still, I'm battling biology here. "Dad, I miss my friends in Beaufort" really means: "Dad, Mom lets me do whatever I want. Why don't you? I want to do everything. Now. If you won't let me, I'll go back to Beaufort". I want to tell them, "I did all that. It gets you nowhere. Enjoy being a kid. It ends before you know it". But that's not what kids do, is it?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sweet and Sour Children.
Warning: This post is kind of a bummer. Feel free to skip it. I'll have something lighter tomorrow.
I've mentioned ad nauseam that I have, like, 106 kids. Actually, it's four, but believe me, that's plenty. My youngest are thirteen year-old twins. One of the twins- Tyler- had me take him to Beaufort yesterday, because he had a date with a girl he met on-line. The girl's parents insisted it be a group outing, so Taylor went along also, as did another friend or two of the girl. Taylor already had his first date about six months ago. Taylor also was the first to "make out" (though, technically, Tyler got his first kiss when he was in Sunday School at age six). This is a weird age for the Lads. They still let me read The Narnia Chronicles to them. Tyler has not totally gotten rid of the teddy bear he's had since he was an infant. They will still give me a hug and tell me they love me. But most of their friends are at least two years older than they are. Some of their friends use drugs. The boys tell me this. Taylor asked me the difference between "weed" and crack yesterday. Drugs are a dead end, I tell them. I've previously offered a bribe: if they can make to 18 years of age without using alcohol, tobacco or drugs, I'll give them 500 bucks each. I'm pretty sure Taylor is already out of the money. Shoot, I was twelve the first time I got drunk. Should I be surprised? There's no rush for this, I tell them. You guys will have all the friends and girlfriends you'll ever want. I promise. No need to hurry. Still, I'm battling biology here. "Dad, I miss my friends in Beaufort" really means: "Dad, Mom lets me do whatever I want. Why don't you? I want to do everything. Now. If you won't let me, I'll go back to Beaufort". I want to tell them, "I did all that. It gets you nowhere. Enjoy being a kid. It ends before you know it". But that's not what kids do, is it?
I've mentioned ad nauseam that I have, like, 106 kids. Actually, it's four, but believe me, that's plenty. My youngest are thirteen year-old twins. One of the twins- Tyler- had me take him to Beaufort yesterday, because he had a date with a girl he met on-line. The girl's parents insisted it be a group outing, so Taylor went along also, as did another friend or two of the girl. Taylor already had his first date about six months ago. Taylor also was the first to "make out" (though, technically, Tyler got his first kiss when he was in Sunday School at age six). This is a weird age for the Lads. They still let me read The Narnia Chronicles to them. Tyler has not totally gotten rid of the teddy bear he's had since he was an infant. They will still give me a hug and tell me they love me. But most of their friends are at least two years older than they are. Some of their friends use drugs. The boys tell me this. Taylor asked me the difference between "weed" and crack yesterday. Drugs are a dead end, I tell them. I've previously offered a bribe: if they can make to 18 years of age without using alcohol, tobacco or drugs, I'll give them 500 bucks each. I'm pretty sure Taylor is already out of the money. Shoot, I was twelve the first time I got drunk. Should I be surprised? There's no rush for this, I tell them. You guys will have all the friends and girlfriends you'll ever want. I promise. No need to hurry. Still, I'm battling biology here. "Dad, I miss my friends in Beaufort" really means: "Dad, Mom lets me do whatever I want. Why don't you? I want to do everything. Now. If you won't let me, I'll go back to Beaufort". I want to tell them, "I did all that. It gets you nowhere. Enjoy being a kid. It ends before you know it". But that's not what kids do, is it?
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5 comments:
I know what you mean. Youth is wasted on the young, right? They're in such a hurry to grow up. But so were we and we turned out okay, right?
Love, discipline, and consistency. That's the formula that works.
And as far as them getting to do whatever they want when they're with their mom - I had friends with cool moms. My mom imposed rules and their moms did not. I used to yell at my mother and it must've been so hard for her to stick to her guns with no support - my dad had left years earlier. Yet she didn't give in. She wasn't my friend, she was my mom. And now I am so grateful. My friends and I still talk about how we're uncool moms - because that's the way it should be. And because she waited, we are now friends.
Though she's still not cool. :-)
So I guess I'm saying - stick to your guns. If your kids weren't complaining, you'd be doing something wrong. It's got to be hard, but one day they'll be grateful.
Take it from someone who knows.
Thanks, Kate.
I said it before I'll say it again.... IT. Well, and something else, cool parents go by the name of either: Grandpop or Your visitor is here.
Pay me now or pay me later, pay me now is cheaper and makes for better kids.
I wouldn't go back to being an adolescent for all the money in the world...but I'll go back to college any day. Where else can you not work, pretend to study, drink daily (without a hangover), stay up all night and sleep all day? I tried it as an adult and it sucked.
Unfortunately for my parents, they were too strict, and I went a little more crazy each time I moved farther from home. Fortunately for them, they don't know the half of it :)
What's my point....oh yeah. We too were young and we turned out pretty good, right? Your lads will experience life and survive just like their old man.
I know you're right, Ange; and I hope you're right, Star.
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