Bumper Crop.

I think they give you these bumper stickers in boxes of granola, and it's standard issue on the Prius Hybrid; but on a pick up truck?
Doesn't have an opinion, but thinks yours stinks.
The Shocker!

What the Kids are Watching Smackdown

WARNING: Some of the videos below are inappropriate for children and some adults. If any portion of Animal House bothered you, you might ought to skip this post.

In the last Smackdown, looks like y'all were Crazy about Aerosmith, which narrowly rode past Ozzie's Crazy Train. Oldest son, Davis, occasionally cues me in to what the kids at Sewanee are watching. He hooked me up with four videos that range from pretty funny in a conventional way, such as the Will Farrell skit, The Old Prospector; to a couple that are funny, but pretty raunchy; to one that is just bizarre. Anyway, The Old Prospector is pretty safe, but I can't embed it. If you want to watch it, you'll have to click the link above. What the kids dig the most is that the other actors can't keep a straight face while Will waxes crusty.

The second video is also by some SNL affiliated folks. The Lonely Island did their own thing before the boys joined SNL. This video is not for the easily offended (think "dick in a box"). It's pretty funny, though, and I love the cameo by Justin Timberlake as the "clean-up on aisle three" guy.


What do you get when you mix an innocent kids' show with gangsta rap? A natural! Lazy Town, Davis tells me, is a Nick, Jr. offering in the style of "Barney"; Lil John's nasty lyrics and raunchy style seem an oddly perfect pairing. Cooking by the Book became an immediate favorite (and one of the songs that Davis' friends played for him when he completed his comprehensive exams a few weeks ago). Nasty, but hilarious:



The last one, Shoehorn, is just... weird.



I'll post the poll tomorrow.

Thanks, John.

After spending the morning in Beaufort, I came home to see this box on my doorstep. The only parcel I've been expecting is a roaster pan from Sears. I don't know anybody in Groves, Texas. Who's Nancy Pellerin? Hmmmm. Seems I recall Col getting a surprise mug a couple of weeks ago, which I figured must have come from Illinois Internet friend John. Betcha that's a mug.

Well, waddya know? And a smiley face, too. The timing couldn't've been better, either. Though the Christmas season has been fun, I only had one present to actually open for Christmas: a nice coffee maker from the kids. Say, and this'll go nicely with that, too, won't it? Thanks, John.

Trip to the Mall

No malls in the Boro, so brother Andy takes the Lads and their friend, Nick, and me to a mall in Cigar City. Security guards shake down the Lads. Walking down the driving ramp is a serious matter. I'd never dream of dissing the mall police, so, naturally, I round up the Lads and direct them to the stairs.

Living dangerously.

AndyMan checks out some Auburn University slippers.

Don't buy it here, Andy; they'll steal your card!

AndyMan and I decide to catch the new Jim Carrey movie. View from the second floor of the theater at noon: not so crowded at the food court.

After the movie, the crowd picks up a bit. Apparently, food isn't the big draw at the food court.

My continuing quest to be the next Abercrombie and Fitch model.

The store clerk approaches. "Sir, you're not supposed to take pictures in the mall", she says. "I'm not taking pictures", I protest, "My brother is". I'm invited to leave anyway.

Hey, wait a minute! They're taking pictures here. Apparently Santa doesn't have to play by the rules.

Ted Nugent and Barack Obama are shelfmates. Talk about odd couples!

Damn, I love my job!

Pay no attention to the man behind the plexiglass. The elite mall security squad captain, who informs me that pictures are not allowed at the mall. Well, I guess I'd better not take any pictures, then.

Merry Christmas from Jesus, Santa, Frosty and the Gang!

Roadtrip: Florida, Part Three

Florida welcomes the Lads and their friend, Nick.

Visiting Uncle Bob and Aunt Maggie in Orlando.

Three-D fries at Five Brothers Hamburgers just East of Tampa. Kate, you do not want to see the hamburgers (but they were GOOD!).

AndyMan by the Hillsborough River. This park is about a block from Andy's house.
These people will never miss a couple of oranges.

AndyMan's fellow Ultra-Marathoner, Jon, who lives only a few blocks away.

Tall buildings in one section of downtown Tampa. Okay, it ain't NYC; still, the tallest building in the Boro is three stories.

If this gal wants to haul ass, she's got to make two trips!

A.P. Leto Comprehensive High School: My alma mater.

The Tampa campus of Stetson School of Law. It was built after I graduated at the main lawschool campus in Gulfport.

Greek Omlet at Nicko's Diner in Tampa. The menu says "Elvis Ate Here "1956"", and "Family owned and operated since 1980". I'm not an ace in math, but...

The Twins with their cousin, Alison.

I don't know where to go from here, so I reckon I'll stop. We had a side trip to the Mall, which I'll post later.

AC/DC.

The trip was fun, the show was great. I'll post the trip later. The show must go on first. The show we caught was at the St. Pete Times Forum, located, ironically, in Tampa. Not far, in fact, from the home of my brother. You got to learn more about his digs in the last- ghosted- post. I like his place. Just the right size for a single dad; the neighborhood has lots of trees, and it's close to a park.
The St. Pete Times Forum is the home of the Tampa Bay Lightning hockey team. Pretty nice. You can buy beer from any of lots of vendors (but at $10 a cup, I didn't).


The Lads and their guest, Nick, get in the spirit (man those boys need haircuts!).

Aging boomers and their children were the main demographic at the show. With tickets starting at $100 a pop, the kids seemed to accept the father/son and father/daughter tandems.

The Answer, a group from Belfast, Ireland (or Northern Ireland. Whatever), opened. The Lads enjoyed them. Certainly they were loud. But really, The Answer wasn't the answer: AC/DC was. AC/DC's intro was an animated short film which was scary, loud and funny, setting up Rock and Roll Train from their new c.d., Black Ice (I didn't film it, but another dude at another venue did. If you want to see it, look here. They played most of their "greatest hits": Back in Black, Hell's Bells (with a giant AC/DC bell lowered to the stage), Thunderstruck, Shook Me All Night Long (most of the crowd sang the entire song with them), TnT ("oy, oy, oy"), Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap- from which I included a brief clip), together with Big Jack from their new c.d., and Rosie (with a giant inflated tawdry gal riding the train. Couldn't see it from our seats, but we got a couple of glimpses in the side video screen). The crowd ate it up. To my amazement, these old dudes brought a ton of energy to the show for two hours. Angus blistered the guitar solos, shook his bootie, and strip-teased to reveal his AC/DC undies (kinda like seeing Harrison Ford in the most recent Indiana Jones flick: you know he's in his 60's, but it's still fun), and lead singer Brian Johnson high-fived people on either side of the cat-walk (Not us, of course. The "cheap" $100 seats where the Lads and I resided were well out of reach), and sang it just as fresh as he did twenty years ago. After the show-in-chief, the crowd brought them back to a pyrotechnical "Highway to Hell" and "For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)" (accompanied by really, really loud cannon shots). Here are some action pics:

Twin Tyler definitely dug it.

Here's a clip from the show:

My ears are still ringing, but it was a great show.

AC-DC One for the Ages (or that age-ed?)

For Christmas the lads and I went to Tampa town and did this gig:

Hey is it my imagination or is that Hermonie Granger on the Guitar? Regardless, that dude/chick/witch can wail!

Sure those guys are old now, but like wine, they still command top dollar.

Any way, we had a rad time and my bro was excellent-amundo as our host. No problems, well, ok a couple, AndyMan's place is a smidge small. We had to step outside to change our minds! Also, anything you want to do in his place, you'd better be able to do standing up! (yeah, that's ok for taking a shower, but if you have to take a crap...... and speaking of that, one of the lads, I think it was Tyler, but it could have been Taylor snuck off with the old man's camera and disproved the "You have to doo it standing up, because, obviously this doo was taking seated. Thanks AndyMan, no really don't stand up, we can get the door!)

Yeah, That's the Ticket...

Pretty jazzed about the Lads' Christmas present: tickets to AC/DC in Tampa. They get to bring a friend; they have to bring me. Niiiice! Since the twins are Taylor and Tyler- T and T- I thought this video might be appropriate. I'll give a roadtrip report when we get back.

Deckin' the Halls.

As we limp into the Christmas home stretch, the Lads and I did a little decorating. The stockings were hung by what was once a chimney, without a lot of care...

The way under-adorned Advent calendar was a gift 20 years ago from my mom. It's supposed to go up on the First of December, and each day you hang an ornament and read the thought for the day prepared for each ornament. Obviously, we got a late start, but we did manage to do the reading for December 17th, which was her birthday.

She'd cut the ornaments out of felt and typed and laminated each Christmas thought. These are my favorites. The Jerusalem Cross is the symbol of, among other things, the convent in which mom was life-professed. The angel includes a picture of mom reading the music. Cool, huh? Mom added some individual touches just for me on the owl and the snowman: The owl has a button from a pair of size 32 Ocean Pacific shorts that I used to wear... and wear... and wear. I haven't had a 32 waist in quite a long time, but I still remember the shorts. The ribbon around the snowman was the ribbon that was around my lawschool diploma. This will the third Christmas since Mom left this celestial ball. I'm glad she left this memory.

Livin' Wit da Projects.

They're cars. Cars that are wind powered. The Lads had projects. Hey, it's alternative energy, right? Just make sure you have a really, really big friend to follow you around to blow up the balloons, and you're all set.

DM at the DMV

Various and sundry Departments of Motor Vehicles about the country are quite fairly maligned for the mindless and steadfast application of rules by mindless and steadfast bureaucrats who don't understand the rules or the reasons for them. I remember an employee of the Social Security Administration giving a low whistle and a sympathetic look when I told him I next had some business at the DMV. Shoot, even other bureaucrats malign them.

Anyway, you'd think in a small town where everybody knows everybody's business that you wouldn't have this problem. You'd be wrong. Adding information to the mix apparently doesn't solve the problem, but it does sometimes change the nature of it: instead of a mindless and steadfast application of rules, you might get a mindless and steadfast IN-application of the rules. The DMV is its own special Hell.


Confused? Well, I recently tried to register my new used car, the Silver Surfer. Ashley, the previous owner, a long-time Walterboro resident, sold it to me, but didn't present the title because she had lost it and had ordered a new one. She presented to me a DMV official "bill of sale", which, according to the face of the document, I am supposed to present to the DMV for recording. I attempted to do so, and to get my registration. Lucky day! Only two cars outside the place! I stroll into the nearly empty building with my proof of insurance and my bill of sale and ask the clerk to hook me up. She looks at the document. "Oh, Ashley has already ordered the title. You don't need to do this", she says. "But I want to", I said. "Well, the title will be here in a few weeks and you'll have it then", she replies, as she sorts through the stack of Christmas cards she's evidently about to mail. "What if she doesn't give me the title? When I finance cars, I never get the title until it's paid off, and I always get a registration. I'll still need a registration", I point out. "She'll get the title to you. She's already ordered it". I look meekly into the dead air that surrounds the kiosk. "You're not going to let me record this bill of sale and you're not going to let me get a registration today, are you?". She straightened out the stack of mail on her desk. "No. Ashley's already ordered the title".