Thursday, March 5, 2009

Colonel Mustard, in the Fish Tank, with the Rope.

We got a 55 gallon aquarium at the Manor, the Lads and I do. We're fairly negligent fish owners, though, and have a hard time keeping the tank properly cleaned or stocked. As of Monday, the population in Tank Town was three: an orange African Cichlid, a fat slug of a suckerfish, and a largish catfish. The Cichlid has been my favorite for the couple of years he's been with us, but the catfish has grown on me. The algae-eater? Eh, like I said, he's a slug. Anyhow, Tyler and I decided it was time to boost the population, so we went to Petco. The fishlady wasn't in, so we talked to the dogguy. Dogguy consults the chart, and informs us that Cichlids are aggressive, and can't just live with any old fish. Warriors evidently need other warriors, or the new neighbors are just so much sushi. So, we get plop down 15 clams for an Oscar. Two days later, we're down to one fish: The Cichlid.
Petco has a ten day guarantee on their fish, so I drag in the decomposing carcas and tell the tale of the three dead fish. Prime suspect's gotta be the African Cichlid, 'cause he's the last fish swimming, right? As Lee Corso says on ESPN, "Not so fast, my friend". Fishlady is in this time. She examines the water sample I bring in and the body of "Fugly the Oscar" (did I mention that the Oscar was not a handsome fish?). She does her best Columbo, and tells me what happened. The Oscar attacked and killed the suckerfish, then turned on the catfish; however, the catfish stuck the Oscar with his spines (she tried to show me a couple of little holes in the Oscar at this point), killing the Oscar; the catfish is badly shaken by the whole thing and dies from the stress of the attack. The Cichlid was not involved in the carnage. Fishlady then gave me a store credit, which I promptly redeemed for two more Cichlids, whom I guess I'll call Mike Tyson and Hulk Hogan. They'd better be tough. Them's mean streams out there.

11 comments:

Mr. Matt said...

You better hope Hulk doesn't drive Mike Tyson to drink or some fish is losing and ear, in the wreckage!

superdave524 said...

Count on it.

Star said...

You could put a surveillance camera on the tank to see what happens next.

On another note, our last house had a fish pond outside. There were three koi and an algae eater down there, but when the water got murky we couldn't see what was going on.

One by one the koi died. The last time we saw the alge eater he had doubled in size and frankly creeped us out. We think he eventually grew legs and walked out of the pond...

QuakerJono said...

Funny.

As.

Hell.

superdave524 said...

Star, I think that's what Darwin was talking about: your koi pond specifically.

Thanks, QJ (unless you were talking to Star, in which case I'm speaking for her).

sunny48 said...

I'm thinking it was a turf war over the Acropolis.

superdave524 said...

Crips and Bloods, Sunny. Slug-fish musta thrown a gang sign.

jrtnutt said...

Just get a dog!

superdave524 said...

I have two dogs (with a total of seven legs amongst them), but they don't fit in the tank.

kate said...

You should write up that shit and send it in to Disney. Nemo Part Two - Death in the Boro.

Seriously.

You could make a mint.

superdave524 said...

Binding Nemo? Bambi was brutal, Kate, but not THAT brutal.