People can be a little too trusting in today's society, and identity theft campaigns are fighting the good fight to make sure that the men and women of tomorrow don't make the mistakes that the old floozies of yesteryear have made. These days, you don't know where your milk comes from, you don't know how many people have manhandled your ground chuck before you make that tasty burger with the cheese that may have been made in Argentina by llamas (American cheese my fanny), and you don't know if that fish you ate really was red snapper. On a (more) serious note, I have heard that most of the time you don't actually get red snapper when you think you do, see http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2004-07-14-fish-labeling_x.htm. Or don't see it, see if I care. The FISH are victims of identity theft! Sure, we have laws protecting the fish's right to live as a species, but we don't have any laws protecting the identity of these precious creatures. I won't even begin to go into human identity theft. Wait, yes I will, that was the whole point of this post. The bottom line (let's face it) is this: the advent of the world wide web has made it criminal not to steal somebody's identity. Case in point: my name is David Scott Mathews, I live in Walterboro, SC, and my father is asleep while I'm using his blog. If that doesn't prove my point, I don't know what does. I'll leave it alone, for now. Just answer this one question: have you stolen anyone's identity today? If not, why? Explain your reasoning.
19 comments:
I have stolen yo-yo's (sorry Zayre, it had to be a straw that helped put you out of businees) I have stolen stick matches (sorry TnC woods, but they were gonna build a hospital there anyway) I have stolen bottle caps (a most excellent candy sold in the 70's) but never anyone's ID, except for my brother's when he left his computer all signed in. So, hey Davis, I beat you to it!
Geez, Louise! First my brother, now my Oldest child, Davis! I really do have to remember to log out sometimes. Hard to ground a 20 year old. At least he didn't refer to Clerks II.
Friday morning confessional?
OK: I stole the name "Star" from The Lost Boys' hottie Jami Gertz....but only because I was in love with a vampire.
...and in addition to the yo-yos and matches, we also went fishin' in Zayre. Those pocket fishermen could zip right across the aisles!
...and Star is a cool name, whatever the source.
I AM cool, what can I say? Ohh, wait. That sounded like Andy just then.
Yeah, Andy's cool, too.
Ron Popeel's pocket fisherman, now that was cool! Hey, why didn't they ever make a pocket pool?
Actually, Dave has no brother or sons, he's entirely a figment of Andy's imagination ... funny, in all those years and miles of running together, Andy never mentioned a "brother" until I moved away and couldn't possibly "meet him" ...
Andy, I think Ron Popeel went broke with the abysmal failure that was: The Pocket Shotgun.
I've pretty much stolen EVERYONE's identity, by being NOBODY. I'm the dreaded "Anonymous"! I deliver, and non can track me! You'll all have to put up an IDfreeze, but can't stop me! I'm everywhere and nowhere.
Pocket pool? Think I caught one of the Lads playing...
Har! Pocket Shotgun. Good stuff, Chaser. Andy mighta failed to mention his hermano on accounta I hadn't run in decades. It's fattism, is what it is.
Come on, Anon. I know you. You live at Kate's blog, Out in Left Field.
I figured it wasn't SD Sr with this:
don't make the mistakes that the old floozies of yesteryear have made
Although Young Master Dave makes a good point here:
you don't know how many people have manhandled your ground chuck before
Ain't that the truth. And that is a very good lesson for the young people today. Be careful who you let manhandle you.
I thought that the "floozies" comment sounded like a tongue-in-cheek dad-ism. Now I know I'm like a B thriller in a world of Hitchcocks. Thanks a lot, J in IL, or should I say, Kim Jong Il! No, not an episode of Scooby Doo, either. I don't think Kim made it as one of the bad guys anyway.
Preconditions my ass.
John, if you keep encouraging him, he's not going to stop (Got to remember to log out...).
Hey didn't Tricky Dick Cheney try out the pocket shotgun?
Yeah...in some poor sot's face!
This reminds me - how you doin' with that whole vegetarian thing?
Well... Not so well, yet. I've decided to attempt something stupid for my 50th in two years, like maybe run 50k or, depending how the training goes, more. I'll certainly have to lose some of the 235 pounds I'm currently carting around to do it. Andy tells me he's adjusted okay to the no-meat thing. I may get there. Certainly I'll at least be eating less meat. We'll see from there.
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