Smackdown House of the Rising Sun: Animals

Congrats to Marvin Gaye, winner of the "old school sex song" smackdown. And congrats to all you guys that voted. I wanted ten votes, and you guys turned out. One of my favorite songs is House of the Rising Sun. Like a lot of folks, I guess, the version with which I was most familiar is by Eric Burden and the Animals. The dude looks so young for that big-boy voice to be emanating from him. The dude knows he's cool. And so is the video.



Okay, that's "the original" (well, it's the first one I knew), but there are actually others, and in several genres. So, do your homework. Tell me if there are versions you know and like.

Sex Smackdown: The Poll

No, not pole: Poll. We've listened to lots of Old School songs about hooking up. The airways and internet are flooded with songs about people getting together- or trying to. We've listened to pleas through the ages for carnal bliss From the 1960's The Beatles didn't want to spring for a room, "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?". Me? I'm thinking, "Gee, I don't know. Cars?". Anyway, it's not making the list, but the 60's were represented. The 70's brought us Marvin Gaye, Donna Summer, Rod Stewart, Barry White, and, yes, Jimmy Buffett wanted to take us back to his trailer. Rick James urged us to Give It To Me in the early 80's. R. Kelly wanted to us to "Sex Me" (well, him, actually) and to Bump and Grind with him in the 90's. During that same part of the 90's, James wanted to get Laid. No shout-outs for the current decade. I'm sure they're still making songs about sex, but it's natural enough, I suppose, that we'd be thinking about the songs that spoke to us when we were first making our way into that world. Rihanna and John Mayer are still wanting us to git wid dat, but they don't understand it like Marvin did. Least that's my story. You guys vote for whomever you want. Just vote. Vote for more than one if you want. I'm looking for at least ten votes here.

Sex Smackdown 4: Miscellaneous

White guys are way too direct. Even famous ones. Like the Beatles.


Okay, maybe it iddint just white guys. Maybe it's also White guys. Hey, at least Barry did it with style.


Maybe we could learn something from our more soulful breathren. Like Justin Timberlake did.


...and, of course, the response.


I'll post the poll tomorrow. Absent some last minute nominations that catch my fancy, the nominees will come from the videos you've seen the last coupla days.

Sex Smackdown 3: Rick James, Rod Stewart, Donna Summer

I wanted to post R. Kelly, Col (though Sex Me instead of Bump and Grind), but embedding was disabled, so we'll have to stay Old School. You were dead on (yes, I'm aware he's dead) that Rick James needs to be on the list. Sadly, the decent videos have had embedding disabled. So, enjoy the music and open another tab and do something else while it plays.


AndyMan had suggested Rod Stewart. Tonight's the Night held some appeal for me back in the day. Rod has really done some morphing in his day, hadn't he? Early rock with Faces, Maggie May, then Disco Rod, and now standards. Dude makes the Rolling Stones look like pikers.


Rod idnit disco enough for you? John suggested the Queen of Disco, Donna Summer.

Sex Smackdown 2: Jimmy Buffett and Marvin Gaye

Can't decide between a couple of classics. I'll pick one of these. First, Jimmy Buffett "ode to lust", Why Don't We Get Drunk (and Screw).


Let's face it: white people are really just playin' at this sex thing. You want real? How 'bout Marvin Gaye.

Shoot, maybe I'll pick both of those.

Star was recommending some Prince, and frankly, it'd be a travesty leave Prince off of any list of songs involving sex. Or Rick James. Right, Col? Still got a coupla days yet...

Sex Smackdown 1: James

Aight. My last coupla Smackdowns have not gotten a lot a votes. Some comments -for which I'm grateful- but only a few actual votes. I'm hoping for at least ten votes on this next one. Now, let's see? AndyMan, Chase, John, Star, onest in awhile Kate, and every blue moon, QJ make six. Cool Col from NY has checked in a coupla times. Lynne has gotten in her two cents a few times. Amy's been in Cali of late, but I bet they got computers there. I recognize Tamv131 as one of Kate's regulars who gravitated over once. I'm not sure we can count on my running partner, Sunny (though I know she's lurking). Still, that's ten votes. 'Course, to be on the safe side, I better let people vote twice. Anyway, with this topic, if I can't get ten votes, well, I probably never will. Let's start with James. Then y'all can make some suggestions.

Big Red Machine.

Anybody remember the movie Sandlot?

The boys need a baseball, and the baseball-impaired protagonist gets one from the house. 'Cept it's not just an old baseball; it's been autographed by one George Herman "Babe" Ruth. The Great Bambino. The Sultan of Swat. The ball is knocked over a fence into a yard containing a monstrous dog, and, well, anyway, it's a pretty cool movie about being a kid decades ago. I got to thinking about my own autographed baseball (well, actually, it's my brother's baseball. I'm not sure if he still has mine).

Sometime in my youth, my dad took me and Andy to Al_Lopez_Field, where the Cincinnati Reds used to Spring Train. We got to skip school and everything. It was great. Dad got us baseballs, and we scooted around to the various players getting whatever autographs we could. These were the days of "The Big Red Machine", when the Reds were the best in baseball. We got autographs from Tony Clonninger, David Concepcion, Tommy Helms, Pedro Barbon, Willie Smith, Hal McRae, Lee May, Wayne Simpson, and Clay Carroll (and one other name I can't read). Oh, yeah, and Johnny Bench, who was maybe the best hitting catcher of all time. Pete Rose was holding out for more money, so we didn't get his, but, man, what a treasure. I remember this was the early to mid-70's, but I don't remember which year. Steve? Anybody?

Black Betty Smackdown: The Poll

Aight. Last Smackdown, Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue" Smacked Down the competition. Now, it's go time again, Betty Betty style. The nominees are Ram Jam, Tom Jones, Cheryl Crow and Spiderbait. Seemed like the last poll messed up from time to time. If you have difficulties, let me know (I probably won't do anything, but, well, you can still let me know). Let the best Betty win.

Black Betty Smackdown 4: Spiderbait

Australian group Spiderbait does a pretty good version of Black Betty, too.


AndyMan comments that Tom Jones gives a shout-out to Leadbelly in Tom's version of BB. Leadbelly, it seems, introduced the song to the world. Ah, what the heck. Let's include Leadbelly's version, too (though the video has nothing to do with the song or the performer, and the audio quality isn't that great).

Black Betty Smackdown 2 and 3: Cheryl Crow and Tom Jones

Thanks, AndyMan.

Thanks, John.

Black Betty Smackdown 1: Ram Jam

I'm really not sure why I felt the need to do a Black Betty Smackdown. I was diligently doing my YouTube research, and was amazed to find several very different versions of a song that has already received more than its 15 minute allotment of fame. Okay, I guess that's why I did it. Anyway, the version most of America first heard was early 1970's by a one-hit wonder, Ram Jam. I remember on an episode of "The Gong Show" where two guys dressed in the same huge pair of over-alls danced to this version. Apparently, none of the rest of America was too enthralled with that bit, as I have not found it on YouTube.

Smackdown Smackdown: The Poll

The nominations are in: Three movies: Fight Club; Rocky; Billy Jack. Two songs/videos: A Boy Named Sue; The Authority Song. You've got a week to vote, and you can vote for any or all of 'em. You can vote more than once, if you've got access to more than one computer. Vote early and often; otherwise, don't complain if your favorite doesn't smackdown the others.

Smackdown Smackdown 4: Music

All right, we've got the first three slots filled. My brother, amazing ultra-runner AndyMan, nominated Billy Jack. He was actually kinda responsible for the other two, as well: "Rocky" popped into my head when I was thinking of broheim getting ready for the Western States 100-miler in Auburn, CA, and it was the A-Man who preached the Gospel according to Tyler Durden to me (Tyler Durden being a (doubly) fictional character in Fight Club). Sadly, I was catching up with Chase this a.m. on his blog Chase'sDirtyThoughts , and it's looking like Andy, Chase, and the other runners trying to conquer the Grand Slam of ultra-running, are going to have to find a replacement for the first race, as wildfires in CA may have forced the cancellation of Western States this year. Well, Ange, at least you had a hand in three of the four Smackdown nominees.

I can't decide the final slot. Chase and Star offered support (and kickboxing retribution); John, Col, and Kate served up some song support. John's punch-list included for some work by, or about, Johnny Cash. John, here's a good "get tough" song Johnny Cash sang to the tough kids at San Quentin Prison:


Col's bringing some NY Street tough to the party with the Wu Tang Clan.



Kate cited some language from Cherry Bomb- one of my favorite John Mellancamp songs- but you know, there's another Mellancamp song that's really about the Fight.



So, we got three movies and we'll have one song. I'll add the poll tomorrow.

Smackdown Smackdown 3: Billy Jack

Hippies were a peace-loving lot, right? Well, sure. Unless you pushed them just a little too far. So, how do you square this crowd's take on the All-American love of violence? Adding a soundtrack with anti-war anthems like One Tin Soldier doesn't hurt.

Smackdown Smackdown 2: Rocky

Okay, the franchise became, er, a bit much (though Rocky Balboa is pretty good), and Sly has become a chemically enhance Hulk. Rocky was, and is, a great Smackdown movie. I picked the "Gonna Fly, Now" clip instead of a beatdown clip for my brother, the Amazing Ultra-runner, AndyMan, who'll be tackling the Great Western States Hundred Mile Ultra in CA this weekend. His blog, for those who haven't visited much is InTheSlam And I know he's going to Smackdown those mountains and trails.

Smackdown Smackdown 1: Fight Club

How much can you know about yourself if you never been in a fight?

Man-up Smackdown (or Smackdown Smackdown).

Twin Taylor got into a Donnybrook the other day. That's a complicated thing for a Dad/Mom to face. Dad side wants to know: Did you whip him? (uh, no. The other kid's two years older and 30 pounds heavier) Mom side wants to hold him and comfort him (and to destroy the creature that hurt my baby). Anyway, I've been a bit preoccupied of late. AndyMan prodded me with a request for a smackdown. Well, how about a smackdown smackdown? I'll get the party started with a manly song, Dion's The Wanderer, but songs or movie clips with brawls or manly topics would all qualify. So how 'bout some nominations?

The People Have Spoken, Three

The Cheese Champ is... The Pina Colada song.

First, the song, virtually:



Now, some pointed commentary by the Mystery Science Theater crew:



I've gotten a thought for the next smackdown, after I read in the paper that superstar tenor, Pavarotti, lipsynched his final performance. What? You don't believe me? Here:



How about some thoughts on best/worst lipsynchs?

Smackdown Time, Cheese-style

Okay, the nominations are in. Thanks to John for the abundantly cheesy Pina Colada song, and to AndyMan for Afternoon Delight (the song. Not the Afternoon Delight. Aw, come on, he's my brother for cryin' out loud!).

Cheese, Three, Four and Five

Why didn't I form a band in the 70's? Just didn't have The Knack. Now, a few years later, some dude stole my name and did make a decent living playing music.


If Harry Chapin had taken himself just a little more seriously, and dressed just a little more gaudily, he might have been make the poll; instead, the oh-so-earnest Terry Jacks is number four in the Cheese list.


Number Five? Well, usually, four is a set, but, AndyMan was absolutely right: no 70's Cheese poll would be complete without Alan O'Day. Throw in Charlie's Angels for good measure, pull out the leisure suits and let's get down!