My ex used to get these catalogues from ABC Distributing all the time. The packages from UPS would arrive, and Tina'd be all excited. Cheap brass-plated tubing for an avocado stand, or a penguin Christmas ornament or some other trinket that even the Manhattan Indians wouldn't've taken in trade would brighten her day. The fine folks at ABCD must not've gotten the memo that Tina hadn't been around here in many years. Well, I might as well have a look.
This chaotic-looking basket is supposed to be a decoration? Shoot, my bathroom wastebasket looks just like it (and I didn't have to spend a dime!).
Let's assume, for the sake of argument, that the sentiment on these bereavement garden signs is exactly what your deceased mom or dad would have wanted. I'm not sure that the low, low price of $7.95 is actually a plus, here.
A light that makes your faucet water look blue when the water is room temperature and turns red when the water is hot. That way I don't have to pay attention while I wait to get hot water. Wonder if it turns blue again when the hot water's gone when I've come back from reading my newspaper?
A branding set to sear words onto your steaks. So, I could put names on them, or, like, "Eat Me"? Okay, that's pretty cool.
14 comments:
I totally want that branding iron (I don't cook but whatevs). And that upside down tomato grower...I want that too.
You should have them, John. I forgot what page the tomato grower is on, but I know there's one in there (though "as seen on t.v." usually adds a coupla ducats to the price).
I so won't comment on the "eat me". I know..I know....get my mind out of the gutter.
New post for ya Dave!
Oh, Tam, you thought? For Shame! (and I'll take a look at your new offering).
Do they also sell those car decals that say things like: "In loving memory of Papa 1945-2008" or "RIP Dale Earnhardt #10"...?
Dammit Star, Earnhardt was No. 3!!
Just sayin' ... also, I want one of those branding irons, too. And I want one just like in the picture, "Your Name Here," how funny would that be?!
It's clear who the redneck is here...
Star, they do have Dale stuff. I'm no big NASCAR fan, but ever' body knows Senior was number 3. You could just have well asked how many innings are in a football game or asked if Notre Dame were the fighting Portugese!
You know, Chase, you and John just about got me sold on that branding iron...
Wow, I didn't realize you can change out the letters and make it say lots of things ... like "Secretariat" ... :-)
Oh, that's rich!
I would burn "tastes like chicken" on everything just to fuck with people.
Or "certified U.S.D.A. Zebra meat".
Or "Certified Road Kill."
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