Thursday, April 30, 2009

One Week?

Trying to exercise some "girl power" in Kenya, several women's groups have organized a boycott on sex to compel their significant others to "play nice" with each other. The boycott time frame is for the staggering term of one week, which, in Kenya, is apparently a really, really long time to go without sex. That picket line had better be tight, as Kenya is polygamous. Asked for comment, a Kenyan official indicated that he was unaware of any boycott.

The Barenaked Ladies survived One Week:

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Disasters? What disasters?

Severe global recession. Rising violence. Global warming. And now, the Swine Flu. How should we deal with this? Here's my suggestion:

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I think that I shall never see...

Joyce Kilmer wrote about "Trees". Easy to see how JRR Tolkien coulda come up with Treebeard and the other Ents about whom he wrote in the Ring Trilogy. This one looked like it was diving into the earth. If I'd've had my act together, I'd've posted this for our just-past Earth Day. Suffice it to say, my act ain't always together.

Monday, April 27, 2009

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

The other night I watched, again, a movie I hadn't seen in years. I checked out the classic Clint Eastwood spaghetti Western, "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly". Clint Eastwood as Blondie (The Good), is paired with Eli Wallach as Tuco (The Ugly), as they scam local authorities out of reward money paid for Tuco's bounty. They cross paths with Lee Van Cleef as Angel Eyes (The Bad) in a quest for Confederate gold. Lots of shooting. Lots of double-crossing. Lots of "war is bad" army hospital scenes. Clint and Van Cleef were great, but it was Wallach's performance that made this movie for me. Check out this scene:



The shoot-out at the end is also a classic, but you'll have to rent it yourself to see it (or check YouTube).

Sunday, April 26, 2009

8 Mile.

The running's picking up a bit. How far'd I run today? The trailer below's a hint (well, I mean, so's the title...).



Or, if Emimem idint your thing, maybe you remember Husker Du:

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Rice Run.

I woke up at 7:30 this morning, intent to vie in Walterboro's signature 5K, the Colleton County Rice Festival Rice Run. I double-checked this website to confirm the 9:00 a.m. start. I might shoulda checked this one, listing correct 8:00 start time, instead. Looks like I missed it. Ah, well, might as well take some pictures.

I got there in time to watch the first wave of runners pass. Walterboro Running Club veteran Michael is in the thick of things.

The next wave- the "New Wave"- of runners is more my speed. WRC stalwarts, Audra and Kevin, lead the charge here.

A scant 15 minutes and change later, Flash (a/k/a ORINTHAL STRIGGLES) and Speedy (a/k/a ERIC ASHTON) break the figurative tape (for full race results, check This site). Had I been on time to the race, these are two people I would never, ever have seen up close. Here, I raise a pet peeve: Competition can spur us to achieve more; competition can also reveal the more unseemly qualities we also all possess in different degrees. These dudes at left are grand physical specimens, to be sure, but they weren't the only runners/joggers/walkers competing. About 10 minutes later, I watched a petite redheaded gal literally push aside a burly Marine at the tape. They were both inside the cones, but not yet to the finish line. She improved her position from about 70th to 69th by pushing this clueless, but large, dude out of the way. Nothing noteworthy at stake. Man, we sell our souls cheap.

WRC president, Kevin Campbell, had no comment about his finish. "Nothing to see here. Move along".

Friday, April 24, 2009

Ho, Ho, Ho.

Yeah, I know it's not Christmas anymore; still, cruel jokes are always in season. OSS means "Out of School Suspension". Funny stuff, FC Middle School. Funny stuff.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Bored Games.

The Lads and I played Monotony, er, Monopoly last night. We used to play it all the time, but haven't played in a couple of years. Though it's not exactly accurate to call board games a productive use of time, it was nice that they took a break from the blinking screens of World of Warcraft and MySpace, if only for awhile. Taylor ended up smoking his twin and me.
This is where I spent most of the night.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Livin' on the Edge.

Okay, I don't really have anything to go with the picture. I just liked it. Anyway, I was gonna post the Aerosmith video of "Livin' on the Edge", but, naturally, embedding was disabled. So, I went with a cover of the Beatles' "Getting Better". It's more accurate anyhow.

Monday, April 20, 2009

You Bet Your Sweet... Donkey.

After my six mile jaunt with the Round O Rowdies Running Club on Sunday (now you know the genesis of yesterday's post), I toured the area. Somewhere between Round O and Canadys, I spotted this donkey farm. It's almost worth learning to raise donkeys just to be able to name your ranch accordingly, ya know?

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Rowdies.

Before the Bucs. Before the Bandits. Before there were any "Football" teams in Tampa, there was a Futbol team in Tampa. Sure, there were minor league baseball franchises in the Tampa Bay area: the Tampa Tarpons, et al. But Tampa's first "premier" league sports team was a soccer team. Before Beckham was bending Ginger Spice, George Strawbridge brought in British star Sir Rodney Marsh to spice up the Rowdies. Plus The Rowdies had the wonderful slogan "Soccer is a Kick in the Grass". Good times.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Shake It Up.

I've been going at life kinda half-hearted of late. Tentative. Whether at work or at play, I've been second-guessing myself and, consequently, doing a whole lot of not a whole lot. But life doesn't have a "pause" button (have we learned nothing from Adam Sandler's classic movie "Click"?). That's got to change. Time to shake things up. Like my brother, the Amazing AndyMan says, "If you're gonna be a bear, be a Grizzly". Work at work. Don't play at running; run. And have a good time. We don't have that many days on this celestial ball. Shoot, Michael Keaton, Alec Baldwin, Gena Davis and Winona Ryder all know how to Shake it, right?

Friday, April 17, 2009

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" Smackdown: The Poll

No new nominations? Okay, we'll go with "The Departed", "No Way Out" and "Angel Heart". Hope you all find what you're looking for. U2 evidently haven't yet.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" Smackdown 3: Angel Heart

Our previous entry was from 1987; today's contestant is also from 1987. Angel Heart stars Mickey Rourke as a "hard-boiled" private detective, Harry Angel. Angel is hired by Louis Cypher, played by Robert DeNiro, to find a fellow named Johnny Favorite, so Cypher can collect a debt. Johnny Favorite's daughter, Epiphany Proudfoot, played by Lisa Bonet, is the key to finding Favorite. New Orleans, murder, dark imagery and satanic sacrifice all figure prominently in this less-than-cheery film (which gave me nightmares for months). Does Angel find Johnny Favorite? Well, you know the theme of the Smackdown, don't you? Apparently, 1987 was a good year for self-discovery. This film, and the previous two, are all I had in mind for this Smackdown. If anyone has any other nominees, speak now, or forever hold your peace.

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" Smackdown 2: No Way Out

Remember Kevin Costner? Remember when he was one of the kings of the box-office? Remember the 1980's? In 1987, Costner starred Tom Farrell, a naval liaison to the Secretary of Defense, David Brice, played by Gene Hackman. Seems that Farrell and Brice have a lover in common, Susan Atwell, played by Sean Young. Brice ends up killing Atwell over her other lover, whom Brice is unaware is Farrell. Brice wants to pin the killing on the other lover, and appoints Farrell to find out who it is. Shouldn't be hard for Farrell, since it's him. There are plot twists a-plenty in this cold-war era thriller. The old Soviet Union was a wonderful enemy.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

"I Still haven't Found What I'm Looking For" Smackdown: The Departed

Saw The Departed the other day. Cool movie. Matt Damon plays Colin Sullivan, a crooked cop loyal to local mobster Frank Costello, played by Jack Nicholson. Leonardo DiCaprio plays Billy Costigan, a crooked mobster loyal to the Massachusetts State Police. When the State Police figure out that Costello has a guy or guys inside the Police, it's Damon's character's job to find him. Shouldn't be too hard, since he's the mole. Anyway, this isn't the first movie where one of the characters is supposed to hunt down himself, but it's the first in this Smackdown. I've got two others in mind right now. How 'bout you?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Que Sera, Sera

I wonder sometimes about the confluence of life's events that bring us to where we are. The Masters golf tournament actually got me thinking about that. Argentine golfer Angel Cabrera, pictured at left, won the tournament in a "sudden death" playoff, even after knocking his ball into the woods on the first hole of the playoff. He'd hit this shot into another tree where it would improbably carom out into the middle of the fairway, saving his chance at par and allowing him to stay in the game for the next hole, where he'd win the tournament. It was like he was meant to win. Poor 48 year-old Kenny Perry, who'd lead the tournament for the entire day up until the final hole, seemed meant to lose it. Life's like that.

I had a chance to go to the Masters. My boss had offered me tickets for Sunday's round one year, when he couldn't go. I told him no. It was Easter, and I wanted to spend it with my family. Politically, it was a dumb move: there would have been attorneys and judges with whom I was supposed to mingle. Professionally, it was a stupid move, too, for the same reasons, and because I'd said "no" to my boss. As a sports fan, it was unquestionably not too bright, because tickets to the Masters are among the toughest to get in sports.

Was it a good decision? I've not been close to being able to go the Masters since then. I'm divorced. I'm no longer politically "connected". It's pretty unlikely I'll be elected to the Senate. It's pretty unlikely I'll ever get rich. I'm a public defender in a small town in South Carolina. Still, I see pictures of the Easters during that time, and I'm not sure it wasn't the right decision. The Lads hadn't yet arrived, but Babymamma had Davis and Caroline dressed so nicely. The family would fracture, but we didn't- couldn't- know at the time that it would. Was it the right decision? In the end, it doesn't matter. Whatever will be, will be.



(Or you can view an edgier version by Pink Martini (with video clips from British sci-fi series, Dr. Who)):

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter.

I thought about going with "He is risen, indeed. Hallelujah!" or something like that. Ultimately, I went with chocolate bunnies. I'm gonna get the Lads to church this morning. So far they have not risen. I figure a chocolate bribe might help. 'Course, there might be some negative fall-out once I get them there, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Boo-Ya!

A new record! I scanned the store sale paper this week, and used coupons for double discounts to save more than $71 on what would have been $205 worth of groceries. That's more than a third off the total. I got meat. I got cereal. I got shaving cream. Except for one gallon of milk, not a thing did I get that wasn't discounted. Yeah, Baby!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Arts and Crap.

My ex used to get these catalogues from ABC Distributing all the time. The packages from UPS would arrive, and Tina'd be all excited. Cheap brass-plated tubing for an avocado stand, or a penguin Christmas ornament or some other trinket that even the Manhattan Indians wouldn't've taken in trade would brighten her day. The fine folks at ABCD must not've gotten the memo that Tina hadn't been around here in many years.

Well, I might as well have a look.


This chaotic-looking basket is supposed to be a decoration? Shoot, my bathroom wastebasket looks just like it (and I didn't have to spend a dime!).



Let's assume, for the sake of argument, that the sentiment on these bereavement garden signs is exactly what your deceased mom or dad would have wanted. I'm not sure that the low, low price of $7.95 is actually a plus, here.



A light that makes your faucet water look blue when the water is room temperature and turns red when the water is hot. That way I don't have to pay attention while I wait to get hot water. Wonder if it turns blue again when the hot water's gone when I've come back from reading my newspaper?



A branding set to sear words onto your steaks. So, I could put names on them, or, like, "Eat Me"? Okay, that's pretty cool.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Run, Fatboy, Run.

I like movies, but don't get out a bunch, so I finally succumbed to those omni... er, pervasive... Netflix ads and signed up for two free weeks. My first movie was Simon Pegg's "Run, Fatboy, Run". I dig Simon Pegg. I loved his zombie flick, "Shaun of the Dead", and enjoyed his take on cop movies, "Hot Fuzz". This time Pegg is Dennis, a security guard for a London lingerie shop. Dennis is essentially the same lovable deadbeat character Pegg played in the earlier movies, only with a different sidekick. As in those movies, the main theme is his quest for redemption. Boy, he needs it this time. He left his beautiful, pregnant fiancee at the altar five years earlier, and her attempt to "move on" with a new American boyfriend, Whit, played by Hank Azaria, prompts him to accept a challenge to run a marathon to win back his girl, or at least her respect. Decent symbolism in the marathon, as Pegg's character has run away from just about every challenge he's ever faced. When he discovers that his babymamma has become engaged to Whit, he decides to give up on the marathon. He's jolted out of his pity-party when he's told his son has run away. He finds him, listens to his boy's tale of woe, and responds thusly:



Whether you're a down and out London security guard, or a public defender in the Boro, it's hard to imagine advice much better than that. The light bulb comes on for Dennis, and he decides to run the race, after all. Does he make it? Does he grow as a person? Does he earn the respect of his son and his babymamma? I'm not going to spoil it for you. Suffice it to say, there aren't a ton of surprises in this flick. Doesn't matter. Like I said, I dig Simon Pegg.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

A Well-Heeled School.

I watched the Mens' College Basketball Championship game between the North Carolina Tarheels and the Michigan State University Spartans last night. Each of the schools has won multiple national championships, and each has one with their current coaches, Tom Izzo from MSU and Roy Williams from UNC, but their programs are vastly different.

Michigan State roster is overwhelmingly from the midwest, with all but two players from Big Ten states (although one of those two is from Nigeria). All of the announced starters were either from Michigan or Ohio.

The Tarheels are a national crew, with each of the five starters from a different state. While six of the seventeen players on the roster are from North Carolina, none of the starters are from the Tarheel State. They are from California, New York, Missouri, Pennsylvania, and Maryland. Only Maryland is an Atlantic Coast Conference state. On the entire roster of 17 players, nine states are represented.

The game was played in Detroit, and MSU was a sentimental favorite. In the end, the Heels stomped the Spartans. There's usually a reason why an underdog is an underdog.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Um, What's the Point?



I mean, if the employees are dead and all, I suppose it's natural that they wouldn't still be, you know, employees.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

b.b. Kings.

Cowboys and Indians. Cops and Robbers. For many moons, boys have found excuses to shoot things. The newest thing is airsoft b.b. guns. They're like regular b.b. guns, but they look more realistic and they shoot plastic b.b.s instead of metal ones. The Lads have been in airsoft wars of late. No problems so far. Well... maybe a few. It's those durn b.b.s. They're everywhere. Swept and mopped the floors today, and those suckers were omnipresent. The Lads' interest in airsoft seems to be diminishing, but those stupid b.b.s are not.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Wisteria Hysteria.

Purple wisteria flowers are omipresent for about two weeks; then the flowers fade or fall until the next year.
"Grapes! Huh-huh-huh. Love you, Caroline (or Dad)". A few years ago, my daughter pointed out that the flowers look like bunches of grapes. Since then, we've played a game to see who can spot the "grapes" first. The Lads and I play now, too, though it will always be my girl's game. The winner gets nothing but satisfaction, but the Lads go at it with vigor.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Favorite Albums: D!xie Ch!cks

Most of my favorite albums are formative; there are albums that I discovered when I was about the age the Lads are now. Elton John, David Bowie, The Who, and BTO all had albums out when I was a teen. American Graffiti involved older music, but the movie and album (for you kids out there, an album is like a c.d., only bigger) came out when I was a teenager. Most of my favorite albums, then, have a tinge of nostalgia blended in with them. Not so with this choice.

I liked these gals when I first heard them, but I wouldn't've considered them among my favorites until their 2006 album came out. They'd made an unfavorable comment about the President during a concert in England. Although eventually fewer than half of Americans approved of the President's performance, a much higher percentage of Country music fans rabidly supported the President at the time. Sadly for the D!xie Ch!cks, Country music was generally considered their genre. Country music star Toby Keith made lots of money singing about kicking ass "courtesy of the Red, White and Blue", and these gals had the audacity to question the wisdom of our Commander-in-Chief. No less a noted scholastic heavy-weight than Larry the Cable Guy pointed out that it wasn't real bright for Country music acts to appear "unpatriotic". The Chicks were reviled in their genre. Many Country music stations refused to play their songs. They even received threatening letters from strangers telling them to "shut up and sing" (I'm not sure how you do that, but you get the point). After a few unsuccessful attempts at spin-control, they embraced their "otherness" and their anger at the whole mess with Taking the Long Way. It was a brave thing to do, and it earned them a spot on my favorite albums list. Here's one from that album:

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Attack of the Bugs.

We're supposed to be attacked by bugs today.
Not these kind of bugs.
Not this kind of Bugs. Actually, they're calling it a worm.
I set my SuperAntiSpyware against it. So far, so good. Maybe this was all an April Fool's Day joke afterall.