Time to Make the Donuts.

I've said it before: some days are diamonds; some days are rocks. My bride, the lovely Lady Di, starts grim-looking days by rolling up her sleeves (figuratively speaking. I've actually never seen her literally roll up her sleeves), setting her jaw, and quoting an old Duncan Donuts commercial, "It's time to make the donuts". Not a bad routine, actually. 'Course, the Boro just got a new Duncan Donuts, and I'm glad someone's making the donuts.

A Fistful of Gummi Bears.

Clint rocked Spaghetti Westerns many moons ago.

Son Taylor just wants some spaghetti. Or maybe it was corn chips.

Whatsa Matta You?

You've seen the commercial with the Baby and the Italian tailor. You know the one I'm talking about: the one for the internet trading service. Well, years before internet trading- years before the internet, even- my brother, the Amazing AndyMan, lived that commercial. Like his brother, my brother can be kind of a smart-alec. Mostly, it's not intentional. Mostly. We just sorta see the absurdity in life, and we don't feel the need to keep it to ourselves. Case in point: Andy and the Italian tailor.

Many jobs and a career change ago, Andy bought a nice suit. It was, apparently, a nice enough suit that it came with complementary alterations. Now, we Mathews' are not known for financial acumen, but we not inclined to turn down anything if it's free; consequently, Andy was getting his new suit altered. Andy immediately noticed two things about his new tailor: first; he was a social sort who liked to talk. A lot. Second; he had not been long in Tampa from his native Italy. This was something that the tailor pointed out to Andy, but, because of the tailor's thick accent, he didn't really need to point out. All through the fitting, the dude is all, "No-a. No-a. Eets-a not-a like-a dat inna the old-a country" (sorry my Italian accent is-a not-a so good). Andy is straining not to tease this poor old fellow, being very careful not to mimic the guy. "Oh, really, kind sir? Is that the truth. Well, well". Andy was getting into it, and was patting himself on the back for his incredible restraint. They were getting down the home stretch when the tailor asked with great enthusiasm, "Now Howsa DAT?". Equally enthusiastically, Andy mimicked, "Oh, DATSA nice!". Somehow- and contrary to Andy's fear- the suit was hemmed perfectly, and the pants leg hems were not four inches different from each other.

Rent-a-Friend.

Monday's "Wizard of Id" was a little funny, and a lot true. Here. Take a look. I'll wait.



We all want to be heard, but mostly we don't want to listen to other folks when it's their turn. I remember walking into a house a few years ago, and watching five people all talking at the same time. Five mouths moving; no ears listening. It was beyond chaotic. My pop used to call counselors "rent-a-friend". Now, dad wasn't what you'd call progressive. You got a cut? Put some dirt on it. You got a cramp? Walk it off. You got problems? Well, GEICO kinda summed up his viewpoint:

Stealing Smackdown.

The Boro is in the midst of a mayoral election. Long-time county councilman versus relative newcomer. The former has the creditials, but can be rather abrasive. He's been whining that those mean old people have been stealing his signs, "and they're seven dollars each". Cry me a river, Bill. I'll probably vote for him anyway, and his complaints bring to mind a decent idea for a smackdown: a stealing smackdown. I addressed Stealing before, and included Uriah Heap's song in that post. I also dig this commercial:



Bet y'all can come up with some good "stealing" songs.

Disasters? What disasters?

Severe global recession. Rising violence. Global warming. And now, the Swine Flu. How should we deal with this? Here's my suggestion:

Fightin' the Man Smackdown: Part III

Here's a commercial that won't make the cut, but which I still liked. Here, Sprint, is a little more free advertizing. A reward for your ad agency's creativity:



Naruto and Jack Black together, Stickin' it to the Man:



Enough playing around. Bob Marley stuck it to the man with style. Thought about "I Shot the Sheriff", but ultimately, this is the right one, Baby:



Now, fightin' the power with Flava: