Lost in Translation

Article of dance clothing or playground taunt? You decide.

The Importance of Editing

I managed today to kidnap the Twins and their brother and compel them to attend St. Jude's, the lovely Episcopal Church in Walterboro that I occasionally attend. Today is Epiphany, where Anglicans (and lots of other denominations) celebrate the visit by the Magi with the Christ child. It was also a regular Rite II Eucharist, where the Agnus Dei was sung between the word of God and the Eucharist. Agnus Dei means "Lamb of God". Without getting all theological (or biological), I can tell you that a sheep is not the same as a cow, so I surprised to learn from the bulletin that we were to sing the "Angus Dei"- the "Cow of God"?. I really like my little Parish Church, but this is not its first editing offense. Check out this paragraph from the Monthly Newsletter:



And how did Susan feel about that?



We all make typos from time to time. My first job as a lawyer in South Carolina was at the Beaufort County Public Defender's Office. At some point in my term there, I decided to "move up" and had my resume printed (I guess they call them vitae now). Imagine my horror upon viewing the finished product in noticing that they had left out the "l" in Public Defender. Rather changed the meaning, you know? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

A boy and his dog.

Okay, this picture has nothing to do with anything. I just liked it. I was gonna say something like, "why I don't drink beer anymore" or, "the dog's okay, but his mother's a bitch", or something like that, but, hey, I just don't feel like it okay? Anyway, my brother, the amazing Ultra-runner, AndyMan, needs your vote. So click on the "AndyMan's in the Slam" link above and vote on his poll. HmmK?

Fushumang

First appearances matter. Today was a first appearance at roll call at the Courthouse for some folks who will need to appear in criminal court. Hip-hop fashion was the rage. In addition to saggy pants and over-sized coats, a number of those in attendance wore "gangsta" clothing. One dude was wearing a coat which depicted a skeleton pointing a pistola. Another a Scarface jacket.



Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I ask you, is this the face of a killer?




Some of the people I represent actually did not do what they were charged with doing. A lot of them did. I think the Mary Kay Place character in "The Big Chill" (filmed in this area, by the way. Well, Beaufort, mostly, but that's close), explained that she left the public defender's office because, "I didn't expect them to be so... guilty". Not a surprise to me, but Geez, don't complain about being treated like a thug if you dress like one.

Stupid Signs, One

One of the pretty neat places in Walterboro is the Artisan's Center, where South Carolina potters, painters, weavers and carvers can display and sell their wares (if the Artisan Jury who decides which artists get in votes them in). Wonderful place, but how do you get to it?

The Long and Winding Road

The Orlando odyssey broke badly with a heated discussion between daughter Caroline and her mother about how many of her friends would be permitted to journey on to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl (Caroline won, of course, but not before much pain was inflicted on everyone). On to The Big Easy for the ex and half of my chillin, back to the Boro for the Twins and me.

The traffic was not too very good. Orlando to Walterboro is usually about a five and a half hour trip. This one ran about eight and a half. Savannah, Georgia, and the Savannah River border South Carolina. Walterboro is (usually) about an hour North of the border, so reaching Savannah is like the last lap in a long race. About thirty miles South of Savannah, traffic came to a dead halt on I-95 in both directions.

Thousands of tired travelers coming back from Florida after a Christmas break. How would they react? Shaken fists and car horns blaring? Physical violence? Dr. Seuss wrote the ending to this one. You know that scene in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" where all the Whos in Whoville start singing even though the Grinch stole all their stuff? That one. Instead of getting angry, everyone had a big party. The twins faked car-surfing. We shared some of our pumpkin pie with the family behind us, and they shared their oranges. People threw footballs and basketballs and walked their dogs. One dude even skate-boarded on the shoulder. Duuuude!

The delay lasted about an hour and a half, but I did not witness a single unpleasant outburst during that time. It was actually a lot of fun, and I was almost disappointed when the traffic was cleared and we were able to get on our way. Communing with the occupants of the cars- people that I generally saw only as obstacles to a speedy arrival at my destination- was... enlightening. The next time someone cuts me off in traffic, maybe I'll smile before I flip him off.

The Sunshine State, Part Two

Let's see. Where was I? As I finish my gustatory adventure, Amy drops me off at my Babymama time-share in the people-factory that is Orlando. We go to the Magic Kingdom, which perhaps has replaced the Statue of Liberty as the primary symbol for America. We take the boat over, as I imagine Neil Diamond sing "We're coming to America!"

We do Space Mountian, Pirates of the Carribean, the Haunted Mansion, all that jazz. Still, my favorite ride at Disney is the ride referred to on South Park as "the waiting in line" ride. Properly done, the waiting in line ride offers a chance to sort through the crush of humanity to play fun games. One of the games that my oldest son, Davis, and I played was spot the faux-sports figure. Fat, white Shaquille O'Neals. Adolescent Peyton Mannings. The Tom Bradys were out in force. Hunting Bradys became our favorite. Twin Bradys seemed to be tailing us, but I couldn't seem to get both their pictures at the same time (I guess I just could have asked them, but where's the fun in that?).

The Magic Kingdom: The Happiest Place on Earth!

Davis and Superdave, daughter Caroline and her beau.

Tomorrow: the Ride Home