I was raised in Tampa, Florida, and occasionally ventured to Northern climes, but not frequently. In my returns to the land of my youth, I have learned lessons lost upon me in those bygone days. I've learned, "Where's Waldo". No, not the cherished icon of seek and find the little striped dude; but where are the speed-traps. Like many of the lessons I've learned, this is one I learned the hard way, and the Sunshine State got a few of my hard-earned ducats as a result. On my most recent trip from the Palmetto State to Tampa to see my amazing ultra-runner brother, AndyMan, I passed some poor sap who didn't know that you just shouldn't speed on Highway 301 between Jacksonville and Gainesville.
The sign is accurate and not subtle, but like Sammy Hagar, some folks just can't drive 55 (or really, 55, 45, 35).
Merry Christmas, Sucker!
Well 
Waldo ain't the only Waldo. Waldo has a permanent address in along Highway 301 in North Florida.
Waldo ain't the only Waldo. Waldo has a permanent address in along Highway 301 in North Florida. There's Waldo!
Waldo has an insidious cousin, Lawtey, who also lives in North Florida. Lawty actually comes with a warning:
Lawtey! Lawtey!
The sign is accurate and not subtle, but like Sammy Hagar, some folks just can't drive 55 (or really, 55, 45, 35).
Merry Christmas, Sucker!
Check out "50" next to the store up on the left. Poor dude evidently can't read. At least this bear-bait cleared the road for me.
6 comments:
During the cold war I used to say, "If Waldo and Russia got in a war I don't care who wins, as long as there are a lot of casualties." Yeah, I meant it. I got nabbed in Waldoin 1995, I was going 45 MPH, and proudly told Joe Nazi Law that, he said, I know, and then pointed at the sign on the curve, obscured by the tree, 35 MPH. Bastids. He then wrote me up, ran a stop sign, cut across the median, to catch another speeder? No, to talk to his buddy. Dude breaks X number of laws, but when the bad guys are wearing the uniforms, whadda you gonna do? Put up a sign I guess.
Heck no, you go find yourself the finest public defender you can get for a standard $40 court fee ... I hear there's a good'un up in the 'Boro ...
Those court costs are usually about as much as the ticket in Alachua County, where "The Speed limit, just aint Slow enough!"
Thanks, Chase. Sadly, I'm not licenced in FLA anymore. When I got my Lawtey lesson, I paid a backwoods Southern lawyer (a shout-out to whoever can name the song and artist for that line) to keep away the points, which he did.
I'm thinkin' Vicki Lawrence did the original, but I like Reba's version better, "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" ...
"That's the night that the lights went out in Georgia
That's the night that they hung an innocent man
Well, don't trust your soul to no backwoods Southern lawyer
'cause the judge in the town's got bloodstains on his hands"
.... And you know what they say, Jesse James was hung, but he also died at the end of a rope.
Huzzah for Chase!
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