Poison.

Alice Cooper just played in North Charleston. I couldn't see him, because I had to spray the yard. These seem to be unrelated things, but they're not. I continue in my quest to gussy up to grass. Moles continue to make a mockery of my efforts. We water and feed and seed the lawn; while moles, in search of succulent grubs, dig it up. "Kill the grubs", they say, "and the moles will leave quicker than you can say Jack Robinson". We've tried the pricey grub killers; however, our lawn must be pretty tasty, because the grubs always come back. With the return of the grubs, the moles return as surely as the tourists traveling South on I-95 pull into the Cracker Barrel at Exit 53. So what's a gardener to do? Well, I took a tip from Alice: