My colonoscopy is tomorrow. The procedure is just one of those things that you gotta get when you hit a certain age: a rite of passage, if you will. The doctor runs a little (I hope) tube with a fiber optic camera and itty-bitty snipping and collecting tools, through my intestines to see if there are any polyps or other things that aren't supposed to be there. If there are little things, they can be excised right then. If there are some not-so-great looking things in there, he can collect a sample to send to the lab. The procedure itself, while performed by a surgeon with the assistance of intravenous sedation, is supposed to be pretty simple. Sadly, before tomorrow's procedure, I've got to, ahem, cleanse the system, so that when the itty-bitty camera is threaded the wrong way down a proverbial one-way street, the traffic's all cleared out. I've got a lot, apparently, to "pass" before I am able to say, "this, too, shall pass".
Starting this morning at midnight, I've been precluded from eating solid foods. As I may have mentioned in days gone by, I love to eat. I go to bed at night looking forward to breakfast. At breakfast, I contemplate lunch. You get the idea.
So, whilst Lady Di prepares her tunafish salad for her lunch...
...I contemplate mine. There's always room for Jello? And then some. I can also have clear soda; hard candies; yellow, green or orange (but not red or purple) popsicles; clear fruit juice; low-sodium chicken broth and lots of water. 
In addition to the few things I MAY have between midnight last night and seven a.m. tomorrow morning, there is one big thing I MUST have: Lots and lots of "action-inducing" fibrous water solution, called, I hope not ironically, "Go-LITELY". You may remember- or not: the movie came out a long time ago- the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's? Audrey Hepburn played the character Holly Golightly. The employee at the surgeon's office who gave me the super-sized bucket of the stuff is named Holly. I kid you not. I have stifled the urge to believe that that is the main reason that Dr. Calcutt hired her.Anyway, I'll give you a report tomorrow or the next day. Right now, I've got to go. Really.
8 comments:
"Go-litely" is a misnomer! Just take a couple of books and a crossword puzzle to the bathroom with you!!! fdb
First, I just watched BAT for the first time ever. I know, I know. I was surprized at how worldly Holly was (and I cried when she threw the cat out of the car window).
Anyway, tomorrow the doc is going to go-litely into your rite of passage, "if you will." Have fun with that!
Just had my first glass, Frandy. Tastes kinda nasty, and... wait... I'll be right back...
Funny stuff, Star (and I need to re-rent BAT. Been awhile).
Dave, you can't watch BAT and the Expendables in the same 30 day period, why you'll blow up. Oh, never mind, go ahead and watch it.
Dave, you can't watch BAT and the Expendables in the same 30 day period, why you'll blow up. Oh, never mind, go ahead and watch it.
I've no doubt of it, AndyMan. I'll observe the requisite probationary period first.
This story was moving.
Well said, well spoken, well put, John.
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